The RDS Poker Family -- A Tribute

[rikki_rakko]

We've been playing poker a long time here at Rough Draft Studios, way before it was "chic" or "the past time du jour" -- and we still play today, even though it's now considered "so 2004" or "lame". So to those loyal RDS Texas Hold 'em-ers, we salute you. You are now forever immortalized through these exquisite commissioned charcoal portraits. You are our RDS Poker Family:

Gregg Vanzo and brother Scott Vanzo

Eric "Chili-Size" Whited

Jeff Mertz

Albert Calleros

Ernest "Ernie" Keen

That's all for now, the rest will follow hopefully soon (turns out these portraits -- not only are they damn expensive, but the guy who draws them is so fucking sloooow.)

[rikki_rakko]

Well, the "artiste" finished some more of these "exquisite" charcoal drawings (FINALLY!) Good lord, it's like pulling teeth to get these things from him! It's not like they're friggin' sculptures, for god sakes -- now that I could understand taking a little time -- come on, they're just stupid charcoal drawings! He should be able to bang these babies out like three or four a day, right?! This guy takes like almost FIVE days just to do ONE! "I must capture ze essence of ze individual...blah blah blah", I mean he doesn't talk like that, he's not French, but you get the idea. I'm just glad I'm not paying him by the hour -- but hey, like I said last post, they're still pretty flippin' expensive. WAAAAY more than I thought they'd be when I originally got the idea for this tribute thing. So if anyone's feeling generous, please, I'd appreciate a little monetary support for this. Just leave anything you can spare up front at Lisa's desk, but only leave it with Lisa...I don't trust that G Unit guy Jeffrey at all.

Anyway, more of your RDS poker family:

Dwayne Carey-Hill

Bob "Canada" Bowen

Gabe Calderon (aka "Garcia")

That's all I got -- will post more "works of art" as they become available. (Also, I'm serious about kicking in some money for these things, guys. "Big Winner" Dave Lee, I'm looking your way...)

[Bigg Slick]

Rikki, they may be expensive and slow to be produced, but they are nonetheless, exquisite. The portrait of Jeff Mertz in particular is uncanny. Its so realistic, I expected it to open its mouth and start insulting me. Beautiful work, beautiful tribute. RDS is a pure class act.

[Coach Bagge]

Did you come here to pay tribute to your team, rakko, or cry baby crocodile tears over your spilled milk bottle? So pull yourself up by the boot straps and jump back in the game! And remember, a chain is only as strong as the guy who's swinging it! NOW DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY!

[Cochino Muerte]

I noticed a stunning lack of women and African-Americans in the RDS poker family. Has the policy changed in recent years or are ya'll still a bunch of racist and chauvinist HONKEYS??

[rikki_rakko]

Yes Cochino, we're all a bunch of white racists here (SARCASM). God bless it, man, get a new joke already.

Anyway, the artist who draws these exquisitely pricey charcoal portraits didn't like what I wrote about him in this thread and refuses to do anymore, no matter how much I pay him. I even said, "Not even for a million dollars each?" and the insensitive jerk flipped me off right there in the middle of Starbucks and walked out! He didn't even take his cinnamon dolce with him-- which I paid for!

So thank you very much, Mr Rembrandt, for waltzing out right in the middle of what was supposed to be a nice tribute to my friends and co-workers! I'm sure Michaelangelo didn't "love" painting the Sistine Chapel, but at least he finished the god-damned thing! Grow some thicker skin, chum.

But all is not lost. After doing a little "net surfing" I found a worthy replacement for that hack, and she charges a whole hellavu lot cheaper, too. So, without further ado, more of our RDS Poker Family:

Shannon O'Connor

David Lee

Bari Kumar

And the best part, she knocks these things out like in five minutes between classes! Bravo!

[jesushchrist]

When I look at that portrait of Jeff Mertz, I can almost hear him saying, "You weenussucker!". Magnificent.
And the portrait of Albert Calleros! Well, if that's not the smile of a man who just stole 3 hubcaps off a Toyota Corolla in the parking garage, then I don't know what that is. The artist has truly captured the human spirit.

However, I would have expected Dave Lee to be captured a bit more like this....